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Hey all,

So with all the wedding stuff finally sinking in (you mean I've got a PARTY to plan??) I'm starting a different site ... set up with my actual email address *lol* ... one that I can send my friends the link to.

I'll still be here with the occasional ranting & raving (bitching about work stuff more privately here), and anything supah personal that I can't let everyone in on will be posted here. Most of it will probably have a pretty lil' lock on it too.

So if you want the new site (not posted here for obvious reasons)don't hesitate to email me. I'm not hiding THAT site, but just sort of protecting THIS one.

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waaaaiting is the hardest part

OMG. My head is going to es'splode.

We were expecting to hear about the apartment today. Pete finally called at 2:30 (after spending all morning 'ohmahgawd'-ing).

They've run some of the paperwork, but not all of it. But we "shouldn't worry". Is that a yes? A tentative yes? A "unless you were lying about your job" yes? URGH!!!!

I'm a lot of things, some of them even nice things. But patient? Not when it comes to big stuff that's out of my control.

I just want to KNOW.
If it's no, we need to make a decision.
If it's yes, we need to confirm the movers ASAP as the move-in date is less than a month away. And that's just the beginning of the massive to-do list.

I understand it was a holiday weekend and she's very busy. I really do. I just ... *sigh*
I just lack patience.

We should know by tomorrow.

Please, gawd.

what weekends are for

It's been the Weekend Of Fun, I think.

But before I get to that ... it's gotta be "ex" month? I got another series of texts from Jeff. Heh. He started out by telling me his crazy ex had brought me up, and do I know why?
Urhm. We both know that's crap because I don't know any of his exs and we only have about three friends in common. I surely wouldn't have talked to them about him when I haven't seen him in .. a very long time.
Silly boy, I am not fooled!

AussieEx emailed again, acting all "Oh - I wasn't really MAD! And look at my child, isn't he/she CUTE?"
They gave their adorable baby a really odd, unfortunate, non-gender-specific name which I'd tell you but then if he ever googled it ... (it is just that odd of a name).

On Friday, we met up with M & her f'wad for drinks. I wasn't going to, but I haven't seen her in forever and we were planning on being in the area anyways. My friendship with M has been a little stilted lately, but she finally opened up and it was good to talk like that. We made our escape after a little while to go see "Be Kind Rewind". Urhm .. meh.
It was snowing like crazy (damn you Michigan) so the trek home was a little rough.
My friend Nick called at about 1am and we reminiced for a while, being in love is awesome but we miss the way it used to be sometimes, the weekends spent at M's partying it up and being stupid. Urgh to making me sentimental Nickoluas!!!

Saturday, Pete and I slept in (I'd been so long! awwww...) and then went to breakfast. Later that night we met up with Stace and her new boyfriend to celebrate their birthdays.
Too many drinks and so much laughing. Woah. We got invited to two other parties (yay!) and were told how very cool we were *lol*.
When we got home, Pete and I stayed up for a while talking. He actually had me tearing up with the sweet things he was saying - about my friends, about how they see me, about who I am. Yeah, the Captain may have made me a little girly, but he was stone sober *lol*.
We're going through some stressful life stuff right now, and re-affirming that we're in it together and can do it!!! felt amazing. I couldn't love him more.

This morning we went to his Mom's for breakfast. That is one funny lady, and his brothers are just as funny. I'm so damn lucky that these are my future in-laws!!

I'm at work now (just a three-hour shift) and can't wait to go home and take a long bath. And then a nap or twelve.

Hope you're all having a great weekend too.

ZOMG!

P & I have been apartment hunting, since we don't want to renew the lease at the place we're at. I've been there for three years, and it's time to move on.

Not to jinx us, but today while I was working, he went to look at this place (and he is in lurve) :
*only $60 more a month
*around 140 more sqare foot
*2 walk-in closets (one with window - possible small office?)
*a wood-burning stove to look perty
*gas range (Pete wants!)
*balcony
*instead of a 12-mile commute, his will be 1 mile. Mine will be 2. Which means (since I am still without a car) I can BIKE to work!! That makes me VERY HAPPY!!!
*a dishwasher (yes, I know, but our current place doesn't have one. Or, rather, it has one named "Jenni")
*a fireplace in the (he said it a billion times : HUGE) livingroom

and, most importantly it has:
*The Gorgeousness

He called to tell me about it on his way to look at another apartment. He was gushing. When he called back, he told me apartment #2 was like all the other ones we'd seen, but it was $200 less than Dream Apartment. Then he wanted to leave it up to me.

Sure! Give me those reigns! *lol* "We can afford it - it's only a bit more than we're paying now, we'll save some of that on gas (no more 35-minute drive! *woo*) . Go get the paperwork, baby!"

He called me back, they have an even better move in special than the other places we've been viewing.

So I'm looking at the pictures he took when I get home, fully aware than if he's loving it, I'll be ovah the mooooon! (did I just say that? *pfft* dork!)

We'll be moving in the week before May 1st, since that's when my lease is up.

Keep you fingers crossed & some good thought comin' our way - pleasepleaseplease :P

who rattled his cage?

Okay, I've talked about AussieEx here before. And there I said "one day I'm sure he'll pop up again".

That happened yesterday.

Oh, yes. It sure did.

It started out as a MySpace message. He's only got, like, four friends on there so I knew his little post was directed at me*. And I was totally right. I then got this email from him, and it was filled with so much anger and hostility and just floored me.

Firstly, I thought he was a Daddy now? And that should take presidence over all the high-school crap, shouldn't it? I would think that'd completely change all your priorities. Apparently, I thought wrong.

Second, I haven't talked to The Jerk in almost a year now. While I hadn't exactly forgotten that he exists, I hadn't really thought about him in almost as long (with the exception of writing that entry almost five months ago).

His anger? It amuses me, it really does. It's pretty arrogant of him to assume I'd still give a fuck. And I seriously don't.

I went home last night and Pete had a bath drawn for me, so I jumped in and then told Pete all about it.
I told him it was an eye-opener for me, because it forces me to see that as angry as I get at Pete ... I've come a very long way. He may throw hissy fits with the best of them (how I ♡ my Drama King) but he's never emotionally manipulative. He may be stubborn, but he's not unwilling to yeild if need be. He may not like me getting pissy, but he deals with it rather than running away. He may not have the accent that makes me swoon, but damn if his smile doesn't do a better job of that anyways (ha! Yeah, superficial much, Jenni?).

There are two things I want to say to AussieEx:
"I know you've noticed I'm getting married. And I'm not doing it because I can't have you, but because I love him. So why do you think I'd care?"
"Get back into therapy. For your own sake."
But saying either of those things would start a conversation that I just don't have the energy for, or the interest in.

You? You fail at life, buddy. Jus' a little bit.

[*I had actually forgotten we were "MySpace friends" because I never check my contacts unless someone has updated or messaged me or whatever - and he never had in the years prior to this.]

dragging myself out of it

Work is still just emotionally kicking my ass. Like I can't even explain. Well, I could but it would take pages upon pages & then probably get me fired or something rediculous like that.
In a nutshell : these policies are beyond, man. Don't give us sick time if you don't expect us to take it. DON'T treat me like I'm being a whiner because after being verbally abused over 100 times in the last month (no exaggeration) I've lost my sense of humor about it. Don't tell me I'm not being apologetic enough when I've apologized for something we/I can't control four times in five minutes, and then when I point that out, shrug and say, "but your apology could've been softer".

Horoscopically (is that a word?) the 7th is going to have some big, surprising changes in store for me - trends that are going to continue through this year and on to next year (which is supposed to be the Best Year of My Life So Far). Changes I've been working for, and deserving, and needing. So .. urhm ... fingers crossed for that? I'm not always a firm believer in this stuff, but I need the Shiney Happy.

Job-wise I'm way overdue.

Other than that, stuff has been good. The daily whatever keeps on with The Boy. We've actually set some firm wedding plans (*squee*) and although we've got heaps of time, as soon as we get the party venue settled I'll be content until around December (when we're planning on having the save the date cards sent out). I'm so thankful to have him as the bright spot in my life.

It seems like most of my friends are going through crap, too, so all of our recent conversations degenerate into bitch-fests. That's not a good thing. It's just been a rough winter for most of us, and I totally get why all the un-happy, but I need to get away from it for a little while.

In that spirt, I'm taking myself the hour+ drive to my BFFs house tomorrow! I'm so excited. We haven't really gotten to hang out in SO LONG where we can just be our over-the-top-goofy selves. I'm taking a bottle (or two) of wine, my camera, and the need to giggle until my tummy hurts. I need to laugh, I need to have fun, I need to get over this frustration at work.

Speaking of cameras, I've gotten so addicted to the 365 days project over at Flickr. Not only has it gotten me a lot more interested in photography in general (which I'll be indulging in a lot more this summer - the stuff in my apartment just isn't that interesting *lol*), being in front of a camera so often has been kind of good for me.
If you're not participating (and let me know if you are - I love checking out photostreams), you totally should be :)

Here's to brighter days...

nappy time

I left work at 11 yesterday morning after deciding I was NOT the brave little trooper and the flu was officially kicking my ass.

So Pete (home sick, too, for the second day) and I snuggled on the couch and napped all afternoon. And it was wonderful, even when he made me take some dis-gus-ting medicine. I woke up around 4 and then was back in bed pretty early.

Today I feel almost normal, so yay for that. Also it is my Friday. Bigger yay. My goal is to get absolutely everything off my to-do list (including going through the 150 emails in my work in-box) in the next two days.
Cross your fingers for me.

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*blargh*

I was feeling kind of icky Saturday and Sunday, although decidedly better last night. After almost throwing up on Saturday night, it only got better and yesterday I made it through work.

This morning when the alarm went off, Pete was in rough shape. And then he yakked. Poor guy. I tucked him back in, got him water, and came to work.

And now I'm feeling a little more icky than I was yesterday.

Is this the flu that everyone else has been catching? Gah, I hope not! I haven't had that in, like, 15 years or something. Maybe longer.

Is there some sort of 'no sickie' dance I can do? Or at least a 'pleeeease don't puke on the comforter' dance?
I'm a little glad to be at work today. Life has been so busy!

Thursday my parents made it here by noon. We went to lunch, then hours of shopping before we met up with Pete and had an awesome dinner at this little Cajun place. Too much food. But I also bought a really pretty new coat - now all I need are little skull buttons with pink eyes for it, and it may be my favorite coat ever!

Friday I spent all day hanging out with the 'rents, my best friend, her family, and some other people I hadn't seen in a while. Pete met us after work again, and the four of us had another huge dinner. I swears, they're trying to keel me with food!

Yesterday we stopped by again to say hi to everyone, got sushi for lunch, and then went to get haircuts.
Oh my god was it the coolest place ever! Mostly guy-centric, but the kind of place that makes you feel cool just by being there. It's all rock-a-billy and loudish music. The owner's very non-frufru little dog was running around. Plus I got such a great haircut.
Afterwards, Pete and I went to visit his friend Brandon for a while and then we all headed out to see "No Country for Old Men".
Home by 9 and in bed not long afterwards.

Whew! I'm ready to go back to my normal life now :) It's busy here today so I've just had time to catch up on everyone, and I'll be back to posting more regularly.

Hope you all had a great weekend, too!

*scramble*

My parents were coming down Thursday for a conference that's going on about two miles from my house. They'll be here until Sunday, and I was all excited to see them. We were planning on taking my Dad out to dinner (as my Mom will be busy with classes the whole time) one night.

Pete mentioned last night that this would be the only time we'd get to hang out with them without all the craziness of extended family and children, and he was looking forward to getting to know them better.

So I emailed my Mom this morning please please please can you find a couple hours over that whole time to join us for dinner, because it would mean a lot. When they came down three years ago I had just started dating The Ex and it was like pulling teeth to get her to come to dinner so my parents could meet him.
It's not that she doesn't care (and I can't stress that enough) it's just that this conference is her thing and she looks forward to it so much all year.
They had to miss last year's, so this is even more important to her.

She emailed back : I love you guys, I really do, but I'll be busy. I don't want to hurt you, but I've been looking forward to this for two years!

That stung. Badly. I understood it, but ouch! So I emailed her back : I understand, but this would be the only time I'll get to see you until Ju's wedding in July.

About ten minutes later, she emailed back. My parents decided to come down a day early (and Mom snagged an extra day off work - I <3 her boss, he's the best guy evar and I have such a crush!!!) so they can spend it with us!! They'll be here tomorrow. I really do love my parents a lot, and it means so much to me.

So now I've got to rush home from work, clean like a madwoman, do laundry ... yikes! They'll be here in the early afternoon.

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